This facade can cause conflict and mask that fact that their communication is poor. Mind myself to be one that speaks her mind maybe sometimes not as clear as one would like but nonetheless if something is on my mind or bothering me you’ll be finding out very quickly what the issue is. My boyfriend and both wear our emotions on our sleeves and can paint a perfect picture of what going through our heads with out a word, If he notices something about my demeanor is off he know something is wrong. And that begins our walk down communication lane.
We kind of live by, ” It’s my job to tell you what is going on inside of me, it is your job to tell me what is going on inside of you. We do to have telepathy or the right to assume we know one another’s thoughts, motives, feelings, or needs. ” Which has worked well so far, but in the process of getting our points across we find out that its not as easy as we sometimes hope it to be. We are close and know how one will react if something is said or done in the process of communicating, we know what the other is probably going to say or think, but the communication process is always something that can be worked on.
In the long haul once all the communicating is said and done we find joy in being able to have a healthy Communication line. All this sounds lovely and yes it is but its not always cake. Communication is hard and at times we fail. Thinking we know each other like the back of our hands has cause some issues, but of course nothing we haven’t been able to get through. Although I find that it’s the simple things that you don’t really think about that cause a bigger frustration for example.
My boyfriend came to me with a problem he was having one day and I automatically wanted to fix it and I gave him a hundred different solutions and options that could work. Then he gets mad and says never mind forget it, this why I wish did not say anything at all. I was in turn puzzled on why he got so mad and when asked why he got mad, that I was just trying to help. He responded with ” Babe, just wanted to vent you didn’t have to right away just bombard me with crazy solutions, if wanted a solution I would have asked wasn’t ready for all that right now. Was flabbergasted and didn’t know how to respond. But it really helped me to see that I don’t always know what he is thinking and sometimes its good to just listen and wait to see how should in turn react to what he is saying. We came up with a solution that works best for us. If he or I wants to .NET that we would first let the other know that we are venting and that the opposite person needed to just be a good listener and not right away bombard them with stuff he/she was not ready to hear.
Savviest said it best in the article, Close Relationships Mask poor Communication when she said, “Some couples may indeed be on the same wavelength, but maybe not as much as they think. You get rushed and preoccupied, and you stop taking the perspective of the other person, precisely because the ;o of you are so close. ” This is indeed so true, think people think because you are so close that you think you are always on the name page and in the end you find out that you aren’t, and it only takes one miscommunication to figure that out.